Greetings, fellow Rebel fighters! It is I, Larek Dao, proud foot soldier of the Rebel Alliance and the guy you’re stuck with while you’re chilling here on Echo Base! Ha, get it? Chilling? Because we’re on a planet made up entirely of ice and snow? Okay, comedy’s not exactly my strong suit, but can you blame me? I grew up on a rock farm on Dantooine, so I didn’t exactly have a lot of time to work on my impeccable sense of humor. “Oh, you mean like a quarry, or a mine?” I hear you asking. No. A rock farm. We literally grew rocks. My job literally involved watching rocks grow and then picking them up when they were big enough before shipping them off to the Empire, and if that sounds worse than watching paint dry, then congratulations, you have a healthy, functioning mind! With that in mind, can you really blame me for running away from Dantooine on a stolen cargo ship and joining the Rebel Alliance?
I was promised combat, adventure, close shaves with the enemy, thrilling space battles, maybe, just maybe, a date with Princess Leia. But alas, the combat and adventure never happened, I’ve never seen an enemy in my entire life, I was never taught how to fly a spaceship, and the Princess keeps making out with that guy who blew up the Death Star, the one that kinda looks like her a little bit. I’ve got no idea what this is all about, but needless to say, when Admiral Ackbar called me and several new recruits to his office, I was ecstatic! “Finally,” I thought to myself, “some space adventures!” Instead he simply said something along the lines of “Felan will be cleaning the toilets, Larbec will be clearing the Tauntaun stables, and Dao will be managing the blog. Dismissed!” What a ripoff! More than once I asked him to reconsider and send me off to fight on the front lines, but he kept repeating that “It’s a wrap” and his decisions were final. So here I am, blogging about Rebel stuff and dishing out anti-Imperial propaganda. On the bright side, at least it’s more exciting than stone farming!